It has been exactly 5 months since the New England Patriots hoisted the Lombardi Trophy. For Patriots fans, this moment was greeted with jubilation and excitement. For the rest of us normal people, this represented the beginning of football exile. Nothing is worse than the feeling of waking up on the Monday after the Super Bowl and realizing that we will be without the love of our lives until August. THAT IS ALMOST 7 WHOLE MONTHS OF NO FOOTBALL. Jesus only lasted 40 days in the desert without food and water. The real miracle is that we are able to make it 7 months without the nourishment of Thursday night MAC football, Patrick Mahomes no-look passes, and Cris Collinsworth slide-ins on Sunday night.
Now, as most addicts do, when we are in withdrawal, we turn to a variety of different coping mechanisms. Maybe you decide to get obsessed with the NFL combine and draft. This might work for a while, but we all know this will end in extreme disappointment when you realize D.K. Metcalf can only run in a straight line and would only succeed if the NFL were played in a style reminiscent of Forrest Gump at Alabama.
Maybe you convince yourself the “football is football” and attempt to watch games in other leagues like the CFL (RIP AAF) only to realize that watching NFL rejects like Johnny Manziel attempt to do something in 3 downs that they couldn’t get done in 4 is a recipe for disaster. Not to mention that the Grey Cup might be the worst name of a championship trophy ever to be created.
Despite the desperate acts that we may have committed over the past 5 months like buying a Daniel Jones Giants jersey, betting $100 on Tate Martell to win the Heisman, or spending hours testing out the best blends of cheeses for your homemade Sunday nachos (if pepper jack isn’t in there somewhere you can just gtfo). The end is in sight. We are less than two months away from sitting down on our couches on a Saturday night to watch Florida vs. Miami; our own personal soldier welcome home video except Feleipe Franks doesn’t have to show up disguised as the catcher at our little league game.
So, stay the course friends. Put in some futures bets, grab Phil Steele’s newest magazine, and count the days until football is officially BACK!
All Chalk 